Judge John Hodgman on Afternoon Ice Cream

Miranda writes: My fiancé will only have ice cream if it’s the last thing he eats in a day. But I want ice cream anytime. Order him to join me for an afternoon ice cream!

I’m glad you wrote to me before the wedding so I can pronounce this marriage canceled. But there’s one slim chance for wedded happiness: Eat your ice cream,and let him eat his ice cream — and don’t worry about it. You’re meant to be companions, not twinsies. My spouse will never watch “Blade Runner.” I will never watch “Friday Night Lights.” We will both watch “Broadcast News” together nine days a week. People like what they like, and even in an (ideally) lifelong union, so long as there aren’t secrets, it’s important to cultivate (and tolerate) private happinesses. That said, my spouse once saw a grown-up order a sundae for breakfast at the airport and has never stopped being grossed out. Lucky for you, you’re not marrying her, you’re marrying your lovely fiancé — because I pronounce this wedding back on.